So when, absolutely one anniversary afore my birthday, absolutely three canicule afore my departure, with all even tickets and best car rentals and hotels already in hand, I saw that the New York Jets, my afflicted scalawag of a admired team, were the Monday Night Football d in Indianapolis, a bald four-hour drive from Detroit, area I was to absorb the night … and THEN that the Sunday Night d was in Green Bay, three hours from area I was that day in Milwaukee … well, article broke. I had absent my way. I blew it. I was ashamed and red in the face. And I bent to about-face a acquiescent airing bottomward baseball anamnesis lane into a balls-out, agreeable allegation of the age I was about to turn. I would no best attending at 40 as my afterlife knell, oh no, I would burrow its eyes out with a mind-numbing, late-night, coffee-fueled pinball circuit through seven states, complete with 4:30 a.m. wakeup calls and ceaseless sports fandomania. To digest Clark Griswold in “Christmas Vacation,” I was gonna accept the hap-hap-happiest altogether back Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny f*@#ing Kaye.
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