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Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.

It’s the Super Basin bye week, which is the affliction anniversary of the year. It’s the accompaniment bastille of weeks, which agency you’re activity to charge article to advice you canyon the time. And is there a bigger way to canyon that time than to apprehend assorted belief of Deadspin readers shitting themselves? I say to you, actuality and now, that there is not. Actuality now tales of begrimed woe that will accomplish your abdomen squirm…

JP:

About 10 years ago, I spent a year in Qatar alive as a architect for the Air Force. All in all it was a candied gig, and every few months I would fly into Baghdad to do some assignment with the guys assigned there. These trips were the best because a) I got paid bifold time for actuality in an alive war breadth and b) the chow anteroom on the Air Force abject I would appointment was exponentially bigger than the shithole we ate at in Qatar (Thanks Haliburton!). On one occasion, I fabricated the cruise to Baghdad like I had several added times, and like I consistently did I set out to gorge myself on the (relatively) acceptable aliment for the 48 hours I was there. Unfortunately, due

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